Sometimes, it can be difficult to feel a connection to who we are and how we really feel, when we are in the company of certain people. Maybe it is that you are a parent and everything feels like it is about your children, so you cannot feel the way you really do. That means hiding your emotional pain to care for the needs of someone else. Maybe it is a spouse or a partner with whom you cannot allow yourself to express what is going on with you.
Perhaps you have family or friends who you believe will never accept you if you are being your authentic self, Perhaps the truth is that you are unhappy with your job, your relationship, and your role as a parent. Maybe you are struggling with feelings of discomfort about the physical body you inhabit, perhaps you feel that there is something about your gender or sexual identity that you are afraid the people in your life will never accept.
Whatever the situation, many people feel a disconnect between the person that they really truly are and the one they believe they are expected to be. Maybe it is about a feeling that people in your life do not care that you are happy, or that you will be disappointing someone if you accept yourself as you are. Sometimes it is about a feeling that your needs do not matter, that you are unimportant. Regardless of the level to which you are doing it, the act of denying your own truth is a form of dissociation. It means that you are not being your authentic self and wonder if you can ever be accepted for who you are.
After time passes, and you do not feel accepted by the people around you, it can lead to a feeling of being invisible. It can feel as though the role you play in life is that of someone who remains in the background, making sure the main characters have a happy life.
The truth is that life is a very short journey, a journey that is different for everyone. The people in life who matter are the ones who care about your happiness.
Sometimes life gets in the way of us being able to focus on ourselves. It can happen that you find yourself in a position of self-reflection at a time when you do not have the time to invest in therapy. Maybe that means you need to take one moment at a time to reflect on whether you can be you. Those moments can be found when you are in the car alone, or in silence in bed at night, maybe it means doing yoga from a youtube video in your room. Whatever the case, stealing a few moments of your day for reflecting on whether you feel you like can be you are not anything to feel guilt over. Every person deserves the right to live their own truth, why can't you?